Sex is phenomenal.
The only thing better than sex is weight lifting.
If any of you have ever read the blog with Matthew and I throughout the last few months, you will always see that sex is something we both firmly believe is mandatory to health and well being.
Notice how I titled this post?
I love Rock And Roll…
Typically people take drugs or drink alcohol to enhance sexual experiences in certain environments or to lower their inhibitions and enhance their openness to trying kinkier things than what they normally perform in the bedroom at home.
I do not do drugs.
I don’t actually like being drunk at all during sex.
For me, it doesn’t lower my inhibitions, rather takes away my abilities to fully read another persons body language.
I have the gift of reading people’s emotions and that also applies to when I’m about to sleep with them.
Go back to My blog post, Making Love Is Bullshit. Sex Is Just Sex.
I still stand by what I said, however I should correct it slightly.
Emotional connection is imperative if you’re planning on having sex with an ongoing partner, or a new one.
That ‘chemistry’ we all speak of on the first date.
I can tell you this.
I typically make up my mind within the first five minutes of meeting a person as to whether or not I want to sleep with them.
I understand not many people have that type of assertiveness towards sexual partners but let’s face it, we’re talking about me here.
If sex is not an active part of my life, then I cannot apply the other therapeutic outlets that I have properly.
DBT will be useless.
Seeing a clinician for regular counseling seems sequentially unappealing.
As those outlets are neglected, the negative personalities surface faster than before and with a fiery rage that seems to be almost imossible to damper and contain.
I’ve been slipping.
More and more I’ve been finding that when Matthew and I have gone days without sleeping together due to stress or our daughter slipping in and out of psychosis states up to half a dozen times a day, I tend to sabotage every God damn thing that brings happiness to my life with extreme prejudice.
I’m tired of it.
But when I’m able to have my release,
My escape through sexual pleasures,
I can conquer anything in the world after.
I always tell Matt before or after a self harm episode
“Make me forget. Take me away from it all.”
Those are my words which only he understand immediately.
Purge me of the poison which has been consuming my mind.
I do not lay any emotion into sex.
As before I said, reference to Making Love Is Bull Shit. Sex Is Just Sex. I could never get Matt (or anyone else for that matter) to sleep with me if I’m bringing in each and every personality I possess.
Insecure Ashley would frighten men and women away.
There is nothing more unnatractive than a woman or man who is highly insecure.
We all have different bodies for a reason.
I am by no means a superficial person.
If a man or woman has a few extra lbs (let’s face it… Look at how Matt and I used to be) that does not automatically negate that I want nothing to do with them.
The connection is the key.
THAT, is the emotions I speak of which are ultimately the winning components to a highly pleasurable encounter.
After I have climaxed and all is said and done, I am typically in my Wise Mind for at least 3-4 hours.
I’d say that’s a fucking win.
It is my drug.
Just as fitness is as well.
If you’re like me, (not necessarily BPD) but someone who urnes for sexual release on a daily basis-
Do not let anyone tell you that you’re wrong for doing so.
Call it slut, red light special, or a man whore for you dudes out there….
If you’re practicing safe sex precautions and being respectful towards the partner(s) by laying out your expectations in the beginning, then who has the right to undermine you as a human being when the core of what you’re doing is for pleasure and reaching a state of mind that enables peace?
People are far too uptight about sex and I just don’t have time or the breathe to waste on those who wish to thwart my enjoyment due to their lack of participation.
If you’re lacking sex in your life yet you crave to have the release, ask yourself this….
What is really stopping you?