I love my wife.
She suffers from borderline personality disorder.
We do not live what is concidered to be a normal life.
I like to say we are better than normal. We are abnormal.
I will go back about 9 years when I first met Ashley she truly was a sight.
As we began to talk a strong commonality began to take light.
We were both coming from painful broken relationships. Although a beautiful voluptuous woman was conversing with me, my attention was not on the lust I felt for her, it was on the pain and anguish she discribed feeling from a abusive husband.
Having loved others and currently dealing with a failed love of my own, I battled with every bit of logic and reasoning I had at my disposal.
I knew we were ment to save each other.
As the night came to a natural conclusion I went to bed, unable to sleep with thoughts of this women’s words racing through my head.
Even a broken marriage is a marriage, I cannot pursue this woman.
Having been raised by a hard man being a coward and dishonorable are the two things that are unforgivable in this world.
As things moved along we would talk more and more, every time I felt our connection grow stronger it became harder and harder to not wrap my arms around her and kiss her.
I remember the night clearly.
Ashley came by. I could tell she had been crying. She told me she had filed for divorce. She said I did this for me not for you.
At this time I felt the strongest inner conflict I ever had.
Part of me was screaming from a mountain top. The other part was scared for my new friend.
We talked for some time and as it became time for her to leave we walked to the door. As we walked over, I knew this was my one and only chance.
When we reached the door, I turned her around, pressed my forhead to hers- noses touching. In what was probably only a couple seconds but felt like eternity, I mustered up every thing I had as a man and put together enough courage to lean forward and have our first kiss.
Ashley often asks if I remember this. I will tell her sort of or something to that degree because until now, that memory was just for me.